"YOUR TRAUMA IS NOURISHED BY YOUR REFUSAL TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT, AND STARVED BY YOUR ATTEMPTS TO UNDERSTAND IT." - Conner Furu
Trauma.
Forgive me if you're the sole individual on the planet who hasn't
endured Trauma's, at times, seemingly inescapable grasp. If you
are that person, feel free to stop reading. This one isn't for you.
We are all guilty of harboring our demons. I'll take it a step
further. I would argue that we have a natural propensity to not
only harbor them, but to allow them to live lavishly amongst all
the other parts of our psyche. We treat them to four course meals,
Egyptian cotton sheets, and every other comfortable amenity that
our minds could possibly conceive in hopes it will keep them silent.
If you treated yourself half as well as you treat your trauma you
wouldn't be thinking about whatever past pain and heartache my
last few sentences just projected in your mind. If nothing was
provoked then congratulations. Perhaps you are well on your way
to understanding yourself better than 99.99% of the population.
As someone who spent years of life harboring demons I claimed to
have beat, I am here to tell you that you haven't and never fully
will.
It is a dangerous belief to hold that you have totally overcome your
past demons. By doing so you create the most fertile environment
for them to flourish. You give them complete autonomy to run
rampant in your unconscious and by doing so give them the ability
to cause the most damage. Have you ever heard someone say they
are a "recovered" alcoholic or addict? No. You will only find addicts
who are in "recovery". Whether their sobriety has lasted a day or a
decade, they forever will be a "recovering addict". The second they
believe they are above that demon is the second they are most
vulnerable to return beneath it.
Rather than facing our demons many of us choose to bribe them.
Taking an "out of sight and out of mind approach." In hopes that
by not confronting them and giving them a comfortable spot deep
within our conscience, this will keep them quiet. It almost feels
comparable to a movie where someone is paid off to keep quiet
about a crime only to snitch on the person who paid them off. Now
they are in jail and the snitch has their money. Moral of the story...
Don't make deals with your demons.
Running away from your demons has not, will not, and will never
beat them. It will simply make you too tired to fight once they
finally catch up.
I believe when payed close enough attention to, nature provides the
clearest insight into our own lives. One of the greatest metaphors I
have came across for life relates to bison and how they approach
an incoming storm. There are a few options for the bison. The
first being the tactic that most of people utilize. Run away. This
not only does not stop or weaken the storm, it simply strips you of
your strength to weather the storm once it finally rolls overhead.
Secondly, your option would be to shelter in place and hope the
storm is mild enough to endure. This is arguably a better tactic
than the first, except choosing this strategy leaves you at the
mercy of the storm. It can throw and beat you which ever way it
sees fit. Although this strategy may deceive you into thinking you
have formidable survival skills, in actuality it simply leaves you
unequipped to fight against future storms that are of any greater
magnitude.
Lastly, is to turn towards it. Walk straight into it. Face it. Most
often in our lives the storm looms over the path of which we least
want to travel, which ironically leads to the destination we most
want to go.
In the case of the bison they know that by utilizing the strength
and speed of the incoming storm against itself, combined with
their strength and endurance going in the opposing direction that
not only will they get through the storm sooner, the bison will find
itself more formidable and well equipped on the other side. Not
only because it increased its understanding of it's own capabilities,
but also it's understanding of the storm itself. You won't see them
flinch in the presence of adversity and future "storms" because
they know what lies ahead and understand their capacity to
endure it.
There is another benefit to "facing the storm". Doing so makes you
a gift to those who make up the world around you. Strong bison
produce strong bison. Same with us. By bearing your suffering
nobly, you unconsciously provide an example of strength to the
world around you by simply refusing to crumble under the current
weight you are bearing.
Many times the trials you face are not solely for your own
personal growth. There are times they can be designed for the
growth of others. Designed to provide an example of strength to
someone in need. Designed to allow for someone to harness the
courage from within they previously didn't know they had...
To show someone they are not alone.
If there is anything you get out of the words you are reading I
hope it is that you should never underestimate the significance
of overcoming your hardships. You may not have been the only
one to grow from them.
By choosing to walk into "the storm" and coming out on the
other side, you not only become more formidable yourself but
you might just turn around and realize that you unknowingly
have been leading others out the whole time.
"What you resist, persists." - Carl Jung
What trauma have you allowed to go unaddressed? Swept under
the rug?
Let me rephrase.
What trauma have you been running from up to this point that
has caused the world and those close to you to be deprived of the
version of you that willingly chose to face your storm?
Whatever your storm may be. Physical or emotional abuse,
childhood trauma, your health, loss of a loved one, or any of the
infinite inevitabilities life has in it's arsenal. I hope you decide to
turn into it and face it. Because the world needs that version of
you.
There is much more to you than even you can possibly conceive.
and for your sake I hope you get to meet that version of you that
turned into the storm.
Selfishly, I'd like to meet that person too.
Comments